Thimbles + Acorns

by iamdustinblackwell

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about

This is an excerpt from the digital book "Thimbles and Acorns" associated with this album. All of the songs are available inside the digital booklet along with additional content much like you would get inside a traditional album insert. This digital booklet is truly the best and recommended experience for this album. The digital booklet is available inside of iBooks for iPad as a free download (or a link will be available to you once you download this complete album).


The story of Peter Pan has always held a dear place in my heart. I find it incredible how much depth exists in what, at first glance seems to be just another childhood story about make believe. The concepts of love, happiness, remorse, and fear are only a sampling of the deeper concepts and themes which run rampantly throughout this beautiful story.
As I have spent the last two years exploring myself as a musician through writing this album, it seemed inevitable that I found relations between the story of Peter Pan and my own life. In the following pages you will find my songs paired with photos, text, and other mediums which help to express the concepts within my music. All of the songs exist in both their original form (Acorns) and in their polished form (Thimbles). I invite you to explore the pages in this book taking time not only to listen to the songs but also the other information on the page. Enjoy.

credits

released June 4, 2013

All songs written and performed by iamdustinblackwell.

Shoebox Collective

Dustin Blackwell (Producer/Engineer)
Tanner Blackwell (Assistant Producer/Engineer)

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about

iamdustinblackwell San Diego, California

this is me. this is my music. this is my aural journal. enjoy.

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Track Name: make believe - (Thimbles)
I’m on my sixth cup of coffee.
and you haven't faded away.
I was sure it would kill the dreams.
Keep them all at bay.
And I’m, I’m drinking myself into.
Into a shallow grave.
In hopes,
That you’ll trip and stumble back on me someday.

And I would pray for days if I thought it could save me.
It could save me.
It could save, it could save me.

And I would pray for days if I believed in make.
In make believe.
In make.
In make believe.

And I, I’ll drink this cup till I.
Till I’m all filled up.
Till I.
Till I feel I deserve the blame.
The blame.
And I.
I may be so damn blind and ignorant.
But I.
I thought it could come true.
Come true.

And I would pray for days if I thought it could save me.
It could save me.
It could save, it could save me.

And I would pray for days if I believed in make.
In make believe.
In make.
In make believe.

And I would pray for days if I thought it could save me.
It could save me.
It could save, it could save me.

And I would pray for days if I believed in make.
In make believe.
In make.
In make believe.
In make.
In make believe.
You still.
You still love me.
In make.
In make believe.
You still.
You still love me.
In make.
In make believe.
Track Name: persevere - (Thimbles)
I’ve got a broken ticker.
I’ve got an empty bottle.
I’ve got a long walk off a short pier.
I’ve got endless excuses.
I’ve got my feet on the edge.
I’ve got to shut the voices up in my head

And I will persevere.
And I will conquer my fears.
I will persevere.
You can’t conquer me here.

I’ve got so many vices.
I’ve got a problem with change.
I’ve got to get better or stay the fuck down.
I’ve got endless excuses.
I’ve got to take the blame.
I’ve got to get better or check the fuck in.

And I will persevere.
And I will conquer my fears.
I will persevere.
You can’t conquer me here.
Yes I will persevere.
Yes I will conquer my fears.
I will persevere.
You can’t conquer me here.
I wont back down.
Track Name: skin - (Thimbles)
Keepsakes, day dreams, followed by mistakes.
More beautiful than the pills I take,
To maintain the delusion.
Someday I might be sane.
This desk wrecked full of empty bottles.
Spilt emotions captured then coddled.
Remorse I feel for those,
Of which I’ve led to bleed.

You,
You make it all ok.
You make the demons suffocate,
On the words in which they haunt me.
And I,
I cant seem to pull and rip,
Enough at my sewn shut lips,
To convey the words trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.

Blast holes in my own ship to sink,
Find myself at the bottom of a drink,
With no intent of coming up to breath.
This distorted mind which I keep,
Filled with flaws.
Imperfections consume me.
Am I to blind or just to dumb to see that,

You,
You make it all ok.
You make the demons suffocate,
On the words in which they haunt me.
And I,
I cant seem to pull and rip,
Enough at my sewn shut lips,
To convey the words trapped under my skin.

Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.

You,
You make it all ok.
You make the demons suffocate,
On the words in which they haunt me.
And I,
I cant seem to pull and rip,
Enough at my sewn shut lips,
To convey the words trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Track Name: fly - (Thimbles)
So rest your head darling safely here on my heart.
And we’ll work together through how the end will start.
I can say Ive got the answers.
And I’m quite content with that.
We’ll take on reality with a thimble from a baseball bat.

We’re flying away.
We’re flying away.

Now please forgive my forgetful mind as i only mean well.
They say this land will take you.
Somewhere you never can tell.
And I’ll make you at home.
We can lay our time to rest.
We’re off the Hook now no ones left here too protest.

We’re flying away.
We’re flying away.

I understand your ache, I only wish to see you well.
They say you’ll let go of what you love.
Even if its hell.
I leave you where your safe but i wont be a man.
When the grass grows, I promise I will come again.

I’m flying away.
I’m flying away.
Track Name: sewn - (Thimbles)
Hello my friend.
So good to see you again.
You look as transparent as I feel.
You’ve seen it all.
The good, bad, rise, and the fall.
You’re always there to catch me.
I apologize,
For the mountain of bull shit and lies.
Caused all because of me.

I would cut you free,
If it meant you didn’t have to suffer with me.
But I’m sure glad you stuck around.
Sewn to me.

Under my feet,
Trampled warped and walked on.
Yet you dare not to protest,
Under appreciated,
Is not a word that even crosses you.
I envy your forgiveness.

I would cut you free,
If it meant you didn’t have to suffer with me.
But I’m sure glad you stuck around.
Sewn to me.

You are a mystery.
Yet you know every ounce about me.
Despite the fact I’ve not spilt a drop.
And I can only hope.
Some day I’ll follow you like you followed me.
Be there like you’ve been there for me

I would cut you free,
If it meant you didn’t have to suffer with me.
But I’m sure glad you stuck around.
Sewn to me.

Sewn to me
Sewn to me
Sewn to me
Sewn to me
Track Name: useless - (Thimbles)
I’m useless here.
Occupying space and just for the sake of,
Twiddling my thumbs,
Fidgeting trying not to interrupt.
Yes things have changed.
And I’m not sure,
I’m not sure that we know how,
To put them back into place.
Like Pangea we separate.

And the distance grows,
And the time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up
The distance grows.
The time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up.

These substances.
Rushing and running,
Through my body through my veins.
Aiding in constructing,
The delusion that everythings ok.
A sense of swelling.
Taking place between my skull and my brains.
A blackened abyss the new tenet,
The new tenet in my rib cage.

And the distance grows,
And the time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up
The distance grows.
The time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up.

A guilty pleasure.
Not meant to be.
Not meant to be spoken aloud.
A hidden treasure.
Safest deep,
Yeah deep below the ground.
Can quite complain.
As I’ve been,
Guilty of this once before.
Can’t turn away,
As I’m a masochist,
A masochist who cant ignore.

And the distance grows,
And the time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up
As the distance grows.
As the time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up.

No I,
No I,
Can’t catch up.

No I,
Know I,
Can’t catch up.
Track Name: whisky - (Thimbles)
I must admit it seems I’ve misplaced my cool.
As all my demons have caught up,
And I’m playing their fool.
Its not as easy as it all may seem,
When your nightmares are creeping up into you dreams.

And the whisky hits the rocks.
And the whisky hits the rocks.

I’ve got this feeling a fear of the unknown.
As my lungs they collapse,
And my rib cage implodes.
As they draw closer now my skin torn to shreds,
At this rate it’ll be no time before I am dead.

And the whisky hits the rocks.
And the whisky hits the rocks.

Now a moment of clarity amongst the obscene.
As a break in the wind allows me to breath.
I wipe clear my eyes,
Amongst the blurs I see.
That these demons ripping my flesh are mirror images,
Of me.

And the whisky hits the rocks.
And the whisky hits the rocks.
And the whisky hits the rocks.
And the whisky hits the rocks.
Track Name: struck - (Thimbles)
Well today was much harder than yesterday.
Despite the fact that yesterday’s hardly said goodbye.
And the air, whoa the air.
It is a thickening.
As every breath just makes it harder,
And harder to breath.
Despite the wreckage,
And the rubble,
And the suffering.
Im trying my damnedest to keep the earth,
From swallowing me.
And theres seems to be quite the standoff,
Between me and the gravity.
As she violently pulls me down to my knees.

But I aint giving up
Cause somewhere in this down there is an up.
And Im tired but I will measure up.
And Im beaten but I will hope for luck.
Cause I hope hope will save me when Im struck.
Save me when I’m struck.
Save me when I’m struck.

And I’ve never, been a scholar.
But I’m sure I’m listening.
To every bone, bending and breaking inside of me.
And there once lived an over glorified philosopher.
Who humbly stated that the earth belonged to weak.
But to me this seems to be oh so impossible.
As Im watching the earth devourer me.

But I aint giving up
Cause somewhere in this down there is an up.
And Im tired but I will measure up.
And Im beaten but I will hope for luck.
Cause I hope hope will save me when Im struck.
Save me when I’m struck.
Save me when I’m struck.

Theres no source, no tip, no tip to the needle.
There’s no fire to the flame,
No serrated edge the the blade.
And its not unlike being stabbed,
Repeatedly with a dull knife.
Until it finally breaks your skin,
and makes you bleed.

But I aint giving up
Cause somewhere in this down there is an up.
And Im tired but I will measure up.
And Im beaten but I will hope for luck.
Cause I hope hope will save me when Im struck.
Save me when I’m struck.
Save me when I’m struck.
Track Name: coward - (Thimbles)
They say the road is tough,
But hell I’ve got nothing left to loose.
What fun is beating up someone,
who’s body has forgotten how to bruise.
Hell bent on giving up.
But, I’d sure hate to call you right.
Suck up what little I’ve got left.
And Ill stand up here and fight.

Oh no no no,
I wont give in that easy.
Despite the fact you’ve got me,
Gagged and bound.
You’ve got me cornered but not coward.
So give me your best shot.

So good to see you,
But I hate for it to be on these terms.
By now you think this’d be a lesson,
That I would have learned.
You’re the great taker,
And I fear I’ve got nothing left to retrieve.
Yet somehow you find a part of me,
I’m not quite ready to leave.

Oh no no no,
I wont give in that easy.
Despite the fact you’ve got me,
Gagged and bound.
You’ve got me cornered but not coward.
So give me your best shot.

Our final meeting,
And I guess you’d say this is it.
You got what you wanted,
And I’m the one thats left here with shit.
You stripped me down and left me,
Standing here my bare skin and bones.
I guess this mess you’ve left me,
Is all Ive got left to call my home.

Oh no no no,
I wont give in that easy.
Despite the fact you’ve got me,
Gagged and bound.
You’ve got me cornered but not coward.
So give me your best shot.
Give me your best shot.
Track Name: make believe - (Acorns)
I’m on my sixth cup of coffee.
and you haven't faded away.
I was sure it would kill the dreams.
Keep them all at bay.
And I’m, I’m drinking myself into.
Into a shallow grave.
In hopes,
That you’ll trip and stumble back on me someday.

And I would pray for days if I thought it could save me.
It could save me.
It could save, it could save me.

And I would pray for days if I believed in make.
In make believe.
In make.
In make believe.

And I, I’ll drink this cup till I.
Till I’m all filled up.
Till I.
Till I feel I deserve the blame.
The blame.
And I.
I may be so damn blind and ignorant.
But I.
I thought it could come true.
Come true.

And I would pray for days if I thought it could save me.
It could save me.
It could save, it could save me.

And I would pray for days if I believed in make.
In make believe.
In make.
In make believe.

And I would pray for days if I thought it could save me.
It could save me.
It could save, it could save me.

And I would pray for days if I believed in make.
In make believe.
In make.
In make believe.
In make.
In make believe.
You still.
You still love me.
In make.
In make believe.
You still.
You still love me.
In make.
In make believe.
Track Name: persevere - (Acorns)
I’ve got a broken ticker.
I’ve got an empty bottle.
I’ve got a long walk off a short pier.
I’ve got endless excuses.
I’ve got my feet on the edge.
I’ve got to shut the voices up in my head

And I will persevere.
And I will conquer my fears.
I will persevere.
You can’t conquer me here.

I’ve got so many vices.
I’ve got a problem with change.
I’ve got to get better or stay the fuck down.
I’ve got endless excuses.
I’ve got to take the blame.
I’ve got to get better or check the fuck in.

And I will persevere.
And I will conquer my fears.
I will persevere.
You can’t conquer me here.
Yes I will persevere.
Yes I will conquer my fears.
I will persevere.
You can’t conquer me here.
I wont back down.
Track Name: skin - (Acorns)
Keepsakes, day dreams, followed by mistakes.
More beautiful than the pills I take,
To maintain the delusion.
Someday I might be sane.
This desk wrecked full of empty bottles.
Spilt emotions captured then coddled.
Remorse I feel for those,
Of which I’ve led to bleed.

You,
You make it all ok.
You make the demons suffocate,
On the words in which they haunt me.
And I,
I cant seem to pull and rip,
Enough at my sewn shut lips,
To convey the words trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.

Blast holes in my own ship to sink,
Find myself at the bottom of a drink,
With no intent of coming up to breath.
This distorted mind which I keep,
Filled with flaws.
Imperfections consume me.
Am I to blind or just to dumb to see that,

You,
You make it all ok.
You make the demons suffocate,
On the words in which they haunt me.
And I,
I cant seem to pull and rip,
Enough at my sewn shut lips,
To convey the words trapped under my skin.

Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.

You,
You make it all ok.
You make the demons suffocate,
On the words in which they haunt me.
And I,
I cant seem to pull and rip,
Enough at my sewn shut lips,
To convey the words trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Trapped under my skin.
Track Name: fly - (Acorns)
So rest your head darling safely here on my heart.
And we’ll work together through how the end will start.
I can say Ive got the answers.
And I’m quite content with that.
We’ll take on reality with a thimble from a baseball bat.

We’re flying away.
We’re flying away.

Now please forgive my forgetful mind as i only mean well.
They say this land will take you.
Somewhere you never can tell.
And I’ll make you at home.
We can lay our time to rest.
We’re off the Hook now no ones left here too protest.

We’re flying away.
We’re flying away.

I understand your ache, I only wish to see you well.
They say you’ll let go of what you love.
Even if its hell.
I leave you where your safe but i wont be a man.
When the grass grows, I promise I will come again.

I’m flying away.
I’m flying away.
Track Name: sewn - (Acorns)
Hello my friend.
So good to see you again.
You look as transparent as I feel.
You’ve seen it all.
The good, bad, rise, and the fall.
You’re always there to catch me.
I apologize,
For the mountain of bull shit and lies.
Caused all because of me.

I would cut you free,
If it meant you didn’t have to suffer with me.
But I’m sure glad you stuck around.
Sewn to me.

Under my feet,
Trampled warped and walked on.
Yet you dare not to protest,
Under appreciated,
Is not a word that even crosses you.
I envy your forgiveness.

I would cut you free,
If it meant you didn’t have to suffer with me.
But I’m sure glad you stuck around.
Sewn to me.

You are a mystery.
Yet you know every ounce about me.
Despite the fact I’ve not spilt a drop.
And I can only hope.
Some day I’ll follow you like you followed me.
Be there like you’ve been there for me

I would cut you free,
If it meant you didn’t have to suffer with me.
But I’m sure glad you stuck around.
Sewn to me.

Sewn to me
Sewn to me
Sewn to me
Sewn to me
Track Name: useless - (Acorns)
I’m useless here.
Occupying space and just for the sake of,
Twiddling my thumbs,
Fidgeting trying not to interrupt.
Yes things have changed.
And I’m not sure,
I’m not sure that we know how,
To put them back into place.
Like Pangea we separate.

And the distance grows,
And the time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up
The distance grows.
The time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up.

These substances.
Rushing and running,
Through my body through my veins.
Aiding in constructing,
The delusion that everythings ok.
A sense of swelling.
Taking place between my skull and my brains.
A blackened abyss the new tenet,
The new tenet in my rib cage.

And the distance grows,
And the time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up
The distance grows.
The time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up.

A guilty pleasure.
Not meant to be.
Not meant to be spoken aloud.
A hidden treasure.
Safest deep,
Yeah deep below the ground.
Can quite complain.
As I’ve been,
Guilty of this once before.
Can’t turn away,
As I’m a masochist,
A masochist who cant ignore.

And the distance grows,
And the time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up
As the distance grows.
As the time it slows.
And I don’t think I can catch up.

No I,
No I,
Can’t catch up.

No I,
Know I,
Can’t catch up.
Track Name: whisky - (Acorns)
I must admit it seems I’ve misplaced my cool.
As all my demons have caught up,
And I’m playing their fool.
Its not as easy as it all may seem,
When your nightmares are creeping up into you dreams.

And the whisky hits the rocks.
And the whisky hits the rocks.

I’ve got this feeling a fear of the unknown.
As my lungs they collapse,
And my rib cage implodes.
As they draw closer now my skin torn to shreds,
At this rate it’ll be no time before I am dead.

And the whisky hits the rocks.
And the whisky hits the rocks.

Now a moment of clarity amongst the obscene.
As a break in the wind allows me to breath.
I wipe clear my eyes,
Amongst the blurs I see.
That these demons ripping my flesh are mirror images,
Of me.

And the whisky hits the rocks.
And the whisky hits the rocks.
And the whisky hits the rocks.
And the whisky hits the rocks.
Track Name: struck - (Acorns)
Well today was much harder than yesterday.
Despite the fact that yesterday’s hardly said goodbye.
And the air, whoa the air.
It is a thickening.
As every breath just makes it harder,
And harder to breath.
Despite the wreckage,
And the rubble,
And the suffering.
Im trying my damnedest to keep the earth,
From swallowing me.
And theres seems to be quite the standoff,
Between me and the gravity.
As she violently pulls me down to my knees.

But I aint giving up
Cause somewhere in this down there is an up.
And Im tired but I will measure up.
And Im beaten but I will hope for luck.
Cause I hope hope will save me when Im struck.
Save me when I’m struck.
Save me when I’m struck.

And I’ve never, been a scholar.
But I’m sure I’m listening.
To every bone, bending and breaking inside of me.
And there once lived an over glorified philosopher.
Who humbly stated that the earth belonged to weak.
But to me this seems to be oh so impossible.
As Im watching the earth devourer me.

But I aint giving up
Cause somewhere in this down there is an up.
And Im tired but I will measure up.
And Im beaten but I will hope for luck.
Cause I hope hope will save me when Im struck.
Save me when I’m struck.
Save me when I’m struck.

Theres no source, no tip, no tip to the needle.
There’s no fire to the flame,
No serrated edge the the blade.
And its not unlike being stabbed,
Repeatedly with a dull knife.
Until it finally breaks your skin,
and makes you bleed.

But I aint giving up
Cause somewhere in this down there is an up.
And Im tired but I will measure up.
And Im beaten but I will hope for luck.
Cause I hope hope will save me when Im struck.
Save me when I’m struck.
Save me when I’m struck.
Track Name: coward - (Acorns)
They say the road is tough,
But hell I’ve got nothing left to loose.
What fun is beating up someone,
who’s body has forgotten how to bruise.
Hell bent on giving up.
But, I’d sure hate to call you right.
Suck up what little I’ve got left.
And Ill stand up here and fight.

Oh no no no,
I wont give in that easy.
Despite the fact you’ve got me,
Gagged and bound.
You’ve got me cornered but not coward.
So give me your best shot.

So good to see you,
But I hate for it to be on these terms.
By now you think this’d be a lesson,
That I would have learned.
You’re the great taker,
And I fear I’ve got nothing left to retrieve.
Yet somehow you find a part of me,
I’m not quite ready to leave.

Oh no no no,
I wont give in that easy.
Despite the fact you’ve got me,
Gagged and bound.
You’ve got me cornered but not coward.
So give me your best shot.

Our final meeting,
And I guess you’d say this is it.
You got what you wanted,
And I’m the one thats left here with shit.
You stripped me down and left me,
Standing here my bare skin and bones.
I guess this mess you’ve left me,
Is all Ive got left to call my home.

Oh no no no,
I wont give in that easy.
Despite the fact you’ve got me,
Gagged and bound.
You’ve got me cornered but not coward.
So give me your best shot.
Give me your best shot.